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8. “My friends don’t like you”
Telling your partner that your friends aren’t fond of him may sound like you are siding against him. Even if you want him to know how your close circle feels about him, do it in a way that won’t make him feel judged or paint your friends as his enemies.
9. “You’re not man enough”
Comments like “you’re not man enough” have a more damaging impact than you think. It pushes outdated stereotypes and makes him feel pressured to live up to unrealistic expectations.
10. “Why can’t you be more like [someone]?”
Again, comparing your partner with someone else and asking from them to be more like that other person can easily make them feel not worthy. Even if you want him to be more like someone else whose qualities you appreciate, don’t make it sound like his not good enough.
11. “You always do this”
If you tend to use this phrase during an argument, it may feel like you are also bringing up your partner’s past mistakes – probably the ones you’ve already settled. Make sure you stay in the moment without throwing in the past.
12. “You should have known better”
Saying “you should have known better” sound more like a judgement than a guidance. Telling this to your partner is as though you are telling them you are disappointed in what they have done without clarifying your thoughts on the matter. Be more open and explain what your expectations were without making them feel guilty.
13. “You’re lucky I’m with you”
If you tell your partner he’s the lucky one to have you, it means you feel of him as less worthy than you are. At the end of the day, you are with them because you choose to be, so don’t make them feel like they owe you for being in a relationship with them.
14. “Whatever”
When you are in a middle of an argument and you decide to put a stop to it by saying “whatever” it means you are brushing your partner’s feelings off and you are not concerned enough to find middle ground.
15. “Calm down”
Telling your partner to “calm down” in a middle of an argument is rarely productive, especially in the heat of the moment, because it will make them feel like their emotions don’t matter.
Don’t forget that good communication is the foundation of every healthy relationship.
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